最近附近的餐廳的免洗筷，不知為何，變成了三支包裝。
其實筆者也不確定是否是最近。
誠因筆者外食甚少使用即用即丟。
一腦疑惑下，我隨即想起了一首歌：
“三支筷子，三支筷子，夾得快，夾得快，一會換換這支，一會換換那支，真可愛，真可愛。”
怎么會有三支筷子呢？
筆者想了老半天，還是想不出個所以然。
不過倒是可以猜猜的。
1）有一支原本明正言順的筷子，用到一半的時候不見了，于是就以為掉到了地上，就叫伙計拿多一支。天知道那一支也沾到了湯后，才發現原來筷子又突然出現在碗里。這時候非常頭痛，因為不知道現在到底哪一支才是應該要用的筷子，自己決定由似乎對其中一支很不公平；司法解決，為了一支筷子對薄公堂又未免被控藐視法庭。偏偏“筷子使用守則”又沒有說明該怎么辦。只好讓他們就這樣鬧雙胞。
2）其實正宗的筷子，是三支使用的。（怎樣用？一支左手，一支右手，一支用嘴巴咬著：“我是羅羅洛亞·卓羅！”）
3）筷子擺太久了，成親連兒子都生了。
4）市場調查發現吃飯掉一支筷子的使用群是使用群50%，也就是因為掉筷子換筷而浪費掉不經使用的單筷等同于使用群的50%。與其這樣，不如一開始就置入第三支筷子，這樣浪費掉的筷子也剛好是使用群數量的50%，但是卻省下了不可循環的包裝紙袋，而且深受因為為了換筷子給人而導致壓抑太久患了憂郁癥的茶室老板所歡迎...
5）第三支，其實是給你做牙簽的...
6）第三支，其實是拿來插朋友碗里的食物的...
7）這家筷子商經過知名風水師指點，三散不盡，祿祿無窮...
8）就是為了讓筆者寫為此寫一篇部落格（筆者盡量在辦了...要計窮了....）
9）其實大家不必那么介意，下面的可以不用看了，反正我打算說這其實是一個抽獎游戲，凡是抽到三支筷子的人都可以到筷子廠去拿能用一輩子的筷子...
10）這其實是市場上的捆綁式銷售手法，以便把筷子的銷售量提高50%
11）其實是筆者一直拿到包裝出了問題的筷子...(反正一兩次，算什么)
12）在很久很久以前...有三支筷子，老大懶惰，老二不認真，只有老三最勤勞...
13）這其實是情侶筷，每人各拿一支代表彼此還是擁有私人空間，共用一支寓意分享甘苦...
14）其實是筷子和香兩用的...
15）曾經有一對成雙的筷子在我面前，我沒有好好珍惜，直到跌到地上了我才后悔莫及。如果上天再多給我一次機會，我會告訴店家說：“掉筷子”，如果要我在筷子的數量上加一個限制，我會說：“要一支”...（什么老橋段嘛...）
16）其實真的不用那么介意，這是附送的...
17）其實真的不用那么介意，給了錢的...
其實真的不必那么介意，覺得浪費的話，就自備餐具，或是使用非免洗的筷子吧...讓免洗筷絕種吧...
2009/10/23
Lost in Interchange
A bus lost in the interchange.
Confused.
Stand still, at the center of the parking lot.
He sees everyone starting to busy,
taking their passenger, servicing to their destiny.
"Go into the world!
Now the world is at your tyres.
Head to wherever you want!"
Smiled.
It was just upon his completion of assembly.
But now, he is still.
Can't help questioning himself, how?
He still don't have a service route number.
Everyday, he queued.
Asking the service line managers to let him drive under one of their number.
"You know the route of this path?"
"Not quite sure, but I am willing to learn."
"Nay, you have to be certain, we want the best, you see."
"You got the luxury premier bus certification?"
"No, I am on the base line model."
"Sorry, we are limited to luxury."
"But I am really interest to run on a canyon."
"Boy, to run on canyon you need a good suspension, we can't risk ourself for your interest."
"You just too narrowed down yourself, seek for other possibilities."
"I did..."
"You are new, why would you want to service on a public line?"
"To get close to people."
"You lied. You actually not interested on commercial line right?"
"I think you have to be more clear what you want. It is risky if you are not prepared to. Do some work. "
"You got the Interchange Service Pass Invitation yet?"
"No, I was not given the offer."
"Sorry, we were only limited to those who surely can get the pass. We were out of quota, you see."
"I have to see whether you are fit."
"I afraid your engine is not really relevant with town route."
"Thank you for your interest, but you are not eligible."
"Please not come back again if we not contacting you."
"You expecting too much."
"Issit?"
"Sorry, but we are only seeking for minibus, you see."
"What about a temporary line."
"I may be caught for illegal servicing, you see. They doesn't allow buses like me to ride on temporary line, or even set up my own service."
"May be you just goto your original interchange, will have more chances."
"May be..."
"It is just not the time yet, you sure will get your number."
"I know."
"Do I?"
Confused.
Stand still, at the center of the parking lot.
He sees everyone starting to busy,
taking their passenger, servicing to their destiny.
"Go into the world!
Now the world is at your tyres.
Head to wherever you want!"
Smiled.
It was just upon his completion of assembly.
But now, he is still.
Can't help questioning himself, how?
He still don't have a service route number.
Everyday, he queued.
Asking the service line managers to let him drive under one of their number.
"You know the route of this path?"
"Not quite sure, but I am willing to learn."
"Nay, you have to be certain, we want the best, you see."
"You got the luxury premier bus certification?"
"No, I am on the base line model."
"Sorry, we are limited to luxury."
"But I am really interest to run on a canyon."
"Boy, to run on canyon you need a good suspension, we can't risk ourself for your interest."
"You just too narrowed down yourself, seek for other possibilities."
"I did..."
"You are new, why would you want to service on a public line?"
"To get close to people."
"You lied. You actually not interested on commercial line right?"
"I think you have to be more clear what you want. It is risky if you are not prepared to. Do some work. "
"You got the Interchange Service Pass Invitation yet?"
"No, I was not given the offer."
"Sorry, we were only limited to those who surely can get the pass. We were out of quota, you see."
"I have to see whether you are fit."
"I afraid your engine is not really relevant with town route."
"Thank you for your interest, but you are not eligible."
"Please not come back again if we not contacting you."
"You expecting too much."
"Issit?"
"Sorry, but we are only seeking for minibus, you see."
"What about a temporary line."
"I may be caught for illegal servicing, you see. They doesn't allow buses like me to ride on temporary line, or even set up my own service."
"May be you just goto your original interchange, will have more chances."
"May be..."
"It is just not the time yet, you sure will get your number."
"I know."
"Do I?"
2009/10/17
Interview
" Mr. Unc..."
"Yup!"
"Can you introduce yourself?"
"Let see...I am Unc, 23-year-old, bachelor, in both relationship and academic profile, my interest is blogging, I got a father, a mother, and a sister at home, I stay in Petaling Jaya, Malaysia, I..."
"Ok...Ok..." ( How is it my concern...)
"Is it your first interview...?"
"Err...not really..." (Ok..it is, else he totally don't know what is the problem)
"FINE...what not, lets talk about some of your relevant experience? such as past project?"
"What about management skill?"
"Err...I did managed a restaurant before."
"OK, can tell me further what you did?"
"Basically I take care of the logistic management, you see, such as materials, inventory, layout arrangement, human resources, public relations, budget control..."
"A broad jobscope, may I know what was the position?"
"Errr...player? or owner?"
"Player? what do you mean by that?"
"Well, it was Restaurant City...in FB."
"FB?"
"ya..Facebook."
"..."
"Ok...you got any other past experience?"
"Yea...sure, I managed farms too."
"Farm?..."
"Yeah, and theme park too!"
"OK...I SEE YOU ALSO HAVE HANDS-ON EXPERIENCE..."
"Yea, I came out BOM(Bill of Materials), sourcing them, and then make robots."
"tell me more of your product then. Do you design them?"
"Oh, no, they was actually set by the developer, I just goto different part of the world, defeat the evils robot to get their parts..."
"...."
"How about your PS skill? Proficient?"
"Of course! Pet Society!"
"Err...sorry, I meant, photoshop."
"Ops, sorry, I just lost my mind when I think of it."
"Playfish is a innovative developer."
"...ok."
"I think that's all I need, you got any other questions?"
"Err...I hope you don't mind, actually I was part of a mafia...I know it was..."
"Yayaya...I knew...Mafia Wars, I played too. I will come back to you if we decided to give you an offer...before that...good bye.tata..."
2009/10/07
午夜游魂
两点。
只是太多事情想不通。
对空间的需索突然膨胀。
屋子里显得不够。
独自出了门。
走着平时走的路。
午夜的街上，车辆不多。
宁静，只身的人走在路上落单。
每走了一段路，会想，
该回去了吧。
但思绪似乎仍然缭乱。
走着走着。
目标方向不明确的人，
总是对前进抱着犹豫态度，
但后退，又能否转身大步的爽快？
总是在前进和后退之间，踌躇推敲。
总是在十字路口的中央，东张西望。
走了长长一段。快到了另一端。
晚风飕飕掠过。才真正令人有些快意。
但另一边厢也开始担忧着下雨。
依然茫然地走。
在终于下起了雨之后，
一个人望着路边的街灯，
看那金黄色的雪花，轻轻打在身上。
满意了。回去了。
也许不知道哪来的兴致，
不为什么，只是纯粹想凉快一下。
这种任性，开始渐渐被磨得殆尽。
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